She Surrenders - The Podcast
She Surrenders is where we talk about faith, addiction, and women all in the same place. Sherry’s 10-year struggle with alcohol ended in surrender to God and a 1,000-mile bike trip. There is an easier way! Sherry started She Surrenders out of a place of needing to find other women of faith struggling with their secrets of addiction. Her heart is to share everything about recovery and what it looks like to surrender to God and the life He calls you to live. Whatever you struggle with, you are in the right place to find encouragement and comfort that you are not alone. We all have our stuff.
Its about time we learn from each other and share our stories of surrender and the joy that can be found in a life living in recovery as a woman who loves the Lord.
She Surrenders - The Podcast
The New Audible version of Sober Cycle! - Chapter One
I'm all by myself for a special episode here today as you will be the first to hear the Audible Recording of the soon-to-be-released, all-new,
Sober Cycle-Pedaling My Way Through Recovery One Day At a Time.
As the soft hum of bicycle wheels on pavement echoes through my memories, I welcome you to an episode that pedals through the gritty terrain of recovery. Embark with me, Sherry, as I vulnerably unearth Chapter 1 of the newly revised edition of "Sober Cycle." You will hear the fear in my voice and the resolve in my spirit as I share a narrative steeped in both the despair and the ironic humor that addiction sprinkles throughout my journey.
Here is the pre-order link for the hardcover and Audible Versions. https://a.co/d/i5q5mjD , which will be available on April 30! Head to shesurrenders.com and subscribe to our newsletter for all the fun details I discussed today. Thank you!
About the She Surrenders Podcast:
On the She Surrenders podcast we are talking about women, faith and addiction all on the same platform. There are many podcasts for women and sobriety, but very few for women seeking information and stories from others about faith-based recovery.
Help us reach more listeners: like, subscribe, review, and share.
Find us on Instagram @shesurrenders_sherry, on Facebook @shesurrenderssherry, and online at www.shesurrenders.com.
Welcome back to the she Surrenders podcast. My name is Sheri and my goal for this podcast is to bring you the good news that faith-based recovery works, and it is where you will find the joy in life that you did not think was possible while you were still in the bondage of addiction. The stories you will hear from the women, and sometimes men, of those that have walked in your shoes or alongside someone who has, will inspire you to pursue the freedom they have found. That comes from surrendering not only our addictions but also our guilt and our shame to God. Matthew 19, verse 26, tells us that Jesus said With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. I pray you hear something today that brings you to a new understanding that this is true for you too, because it is Now on to our guest too. Because it is Now on to our guest Hi there. Thank you so much for joining me here for another episode of the she Surrenders podcast. Today I'm going to share with you one of the more daunting things in life I've ever done. So, as you know, or I hope you know, the revised and updated second edition of Sober Cycle Pedaling Through Recovery One Day at a Time will be launched into the world at the end of this month, and your support has been nothing short of inspiring. As of now, sober Cycle the first release from April 2021, has over 100 very positive reviews on Amazon, and each one of these reviews has helped immensely to put a spotlight on the topic of Christian women and alcohol addiction, and it's provided strength and understanding for those who are struggling. So if you're one of the incredible women or a few of the men who's left a review, thank you so very much. But in order to get amazon's attention that's layman's terms for an algorithm process I do not understand. I would like to encourage you to pre-order the new edition and it's beautiful new hardcover or you can also pre-order the new Audible version. We are doing a really fun giveaway here at she Surrenders for pre-orders and if you missed the social media post about it or the newsletter details, just head over to shesurrenderscom and subscribe to the newsletter to see all the ways to enter to win the designer bag and signed copy of the new book. I am also going to post the pre-order link in our show notes, which you can find at SheSurrenderscom slash podcast. There's also an opportunity to join our Facebook group and be a part of my SAG team On a bike trip. The SAG team supports the riders and that's what you'll be doing in this group, except I'm the only writer but more details on that in the newsletter as well.
Speaker 1:So what are you hearing today on the podcast? Well, it's the audible version of Chapter 1 of the new book and it's read by me. Like I said, it's one of the most intimidating things I've ever done. I wasn't prepared for revisiting some of those really hard and emotional moments in the book and then to read them out loud. You will hear my emotion, and there were so many times I couldn't believe that this was me. It kind of just blew my mind. However, I did have fun reading the pages of humor and sarcasm because, well, what's that saying? I speak fluent sarcasm, and I do, which you'll hear as well. So here you go Sober Cycle, chapter 1. Chapter 1. Unwelcome Invitation. Chapter 1. Unwelcome Invitation, september 2010.
Speaker 1:I had the worst hangover of my life. Instead of nursing it in the cocoon of my bed as usual, I was surrounded by family and friends and preparing to bike with nine other riders from Holland, michigan, to Grapevine, texas 1,100 miles in 11 days. My bags were being loaded into a van and the motorhome going with us was being stocked with food and water. Ride for Life 2010 was almost ready to go. This was the real deal. I was in way over my head. There was no way out. I was going to be detoxing while riding a bike, 100 miles a day. I was on this ride for all the wrong reasons, most of them selfish. I signed up to free myself from my destructive ways. Plus, I would surely lose weight in the process the ultimate motivator for all women. But I didn't reap any of those benefits. Instead, I was nursing a terrible hangover and hadn't lost an ounce since I started training for this insane bike ride.
Speaker 1:Why did I always find myself in these predicaments with no visible way out? Actually, there was a way out of this one coming clean to everyone and admitting that I was an alcoholic coming off a three-day binge that ended earlier this morning. I was incredibly hungover, possibly still inebriated, and just needed to go home to bed, but there was no way I was going to confess that to anyone. I guarded my secret so closely that I was choosing to suffer through 100 miles a day on a bike rather than expose myself. How did I get here? Why didn't I just go to meetings like everyone else who drank too much? I always chose the hard way to do things. This time it was more to impress others than to heal myself always an I'll-show-them way of thinking. Instead of following a more conventional path to sobriety, I signed up for a fundraising bike ride from Michigan to Texas. Surely there was an easier way, but when I remember who I was when I received the invitation to join this trip an overweight, out of shape, non-athletic, supposedly drying out alcoholic there is no doubt it was a God thing. No-transcript.
Speaker 1:Three months earlier, my husband Craig and son Lauren were going on an Alaskan cruise without me. We had won the trip through our business, but I would not be going for several reasons. For one, our younger daughter was graduating from eighth grade and her graduation was during the cruise. I hope she someday recalls that it was mom who stayed back from an Alaskan cruise for her eighth grade graduation. I promised Craig that I wouldn't drink while he was gone, and I meant it. I don't know what made that time different. I wanted him to have a good time without worrying about what was happening at home. Craig had no reason to believe that I would keep my promise this time. I'd broken so many in the past. Truth be told, I was grateful for a valid excuse not to go, even though I didn't voice that to my family. Based on past experience, I knew I could not handle a cruise where the drinks were free and flowed 24-7. We had been a part of this business group for most of my adult life and many of the members knew I'd officially quit drinking.
Speaker 1:I was supposed to be sober If I went on that cruise. I knew that I would drink and it would be 10 days of secrets, blackouts and hiding games. So my son went instead of me. Plus, the trip took place over his 21st birthday. I couldn't go along and celebrate a birthday. That was all about drinking. When I couldn't drink, my son could and others would buy him shots and I would watch and salivate. That party would have to go on without me. They left.
Speaker 1:I battled depression. Why did I make that promise to Craig not to drink? I wasn't working and I'd cut myself off from any social life. I just didn't know how to do life socially sober. It was easier to be alone. I woke up each morning in darkness and stayed there. I spent the first three days getting my daughter off to school each morning and then doing absolutely nothing but attending my personal pity party. It was an easy party to get ready for, no shower or makeup yesterday's clothes I just made myself presentable by the time my daughter Olivia came home from school Early one morning.
Speaker 1:About four days into this lame party I was hosting, my phone rang. The caller ID told me it was the Lakeshore Pregnancy Center, lpc, where I used to work, and for some reason I answered. I didn't do that very often answer the phone. There really wasn't anyone that I wanted to talk to. Hi, sherry, how are you? It was the assistant director. I'd always liked her. Hi, sherry, how are you? It was the assistant director. I'd always liked her Pretty good, thanks, I replied. How are you? It was good to hear her voice Desperate.
Speaker 1:We are so short of volunteers today that I was wondering if there is any way you could come in. If you could answer phones, that would really help us out. I hesitated for a moment and looked in the mirror from where I sat on the bottom of the staircase. The woman in the mirror looked pretty rough. Maybe getting out of the house was a good idea. Okay, I said with as much enthusiasm as Eeyore, then went upstairs to take a shower and begin a day away from myself.
Speaker 1:As I got ready, I realized that it felt good to have a purpose for the day instead of just wandering around the house thinking about all the things I should be doing. I couldn't help but think that this was good. A whole day would pass where I could be safe and not drink. I'd be one day closer to my husband returning so I could drink again. Planning to drink after his return was the only thing keeping me sober while he was gone. I answered phones and caught up with my former co-workers, many of whom were good friends, just not close enough to know my secrets.
Speaker 1:All day as I sat at that desk, I kept thinking that no one had any idea of the trouble I was in. I kept thinking that no one had any idea of the trouble I was in. I was filled with self-loathing along with jealousy that no one else was dealing with an addiction like mine. I was sure that I was one of a kind who works in ministry, directs children's choir, is a team mom and respected member of the community and drinks alone in her closet all day and cannot stop An addict. My shame level was at an all-time high. I was surrounded by people but felt completely alone.
Speaker 1:At one point I took some messages upstairs to our executive director, mark. He was a pastor in charge of a woman's pregnancy center and for that reason alone I respected him. When I handed him the messages, he looked right at me, or possibly through me, and said where have you been hiding? Any strength to keep faking life left me. As the mask I'd been hiding behind slid off. I sank down in the chair opposite his desk and hung my head.
Speaker 1:For once, I couldn't hide what I didn't want anyone to see Get it together. I couldn't keep the tears from falling, any more than I could stop the words spilling from my mouth which made me feel frantic exposed. Why here, why now? My thoughts whirled as I tried to grasp what was happening. I was destroying everything in my path, mostly my marriage and any other relationship with those closest to me. Notice, I used the word was in this conversation.
Speaker 1:My guard was always up and even while confessing, I made sure that Mark would be led to think I was successfully conquering the battle of the bottle. I've been sober for about five months really, only five days and I'm struggling to stay in recovery, I said with tears streaming down my cheeks Then, thank goodness I regained control. The only thing keeping me sober today is my promise to Craig that I would not drink while he is gone. So being here where it's safe is a blessing. I thought this sounded very noble, with just a touch of needy. A good place to end this conversation and make an exit. I had said enough. I put my mask back on.
Speaker 1:My loss of control had been brief and I was back to my alcoholic way of thinking. What good can talking to someone do? He can't help me, nobody can. The whole truth was too shameful to share. I was already fighting panic that my secret was no longer a secret at work. My reputation was already ruined at home. I couldn't lose it here. Instead of feeling relief after unloading my struggles, I was mortified. Why was I so stupid as to let my guard down and expose my fears? I hadn't planned on spilling my guts Now. They were all laid out well, most of them for examination.
Speaker 1:Mark took a minute before saying anything. Just listen to what he has to say, nod your head and say thank you. He'd probably recommend scripture or a meeting, maybe even a friend I should talk to who was going through the same thing. What he said next completely surprised me. You need to join us on the ride for life. We need more women. There you have it. I hope you want to hear more, and if you do, head on over to Amazon and pre-order the Audible version. The link is in the show notes. And if you do, head on over to Amazon and pre-order the audible version, the link is in the show notes. And if you're doing that, you might as well enter the contest, so be sure to check that out too.
Speaker 1:That's it for today. There's so much happening this month. I hope you decide to support me here in this ministry. We have some exciting guests coming up here on the podcast too. But most of all, I covet your prayers as I continue to work hard to send the message that faith-based recovery works, that you are not alone and there is a community waiting for you. Thanks for being here. I hope you enjoyed this conversation, and if you know someone else who could benefit from hearing this or another, she Surrenders podcast. Please share this podcast. Let's get the word out about the miracle of faith-based recovery. So like, share, subscribe, review all the things that helped me get this into the hands of those who need to hear it. Have a great week and we'll see you back here next time. Thank you, thank you.